


The Best Of Me

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Smut (eventually), Swearing, TW: child abuse (eventually), Will add tags as the story continues, mentions of richies parents, mentions of sonia kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-02-13 20:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12991593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: “You can’t go.”“Why the fuck not, Richie? I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t do it, I can’t live with you- like this!”Richie steps closer to him, raising his arms dramatically, “What the fuck do you mean by that, Eddie?”“.. You know I have to go.” Eddie looks at the floor, a tear rolling down his cheek.“That’s not an answer.” Richie deadpans. “What if I don’t want you to leave? What if I don’t want you to move out?”Eddie sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”“Then stay.”





	1. Catching Familiar Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first chaptered fic! I plan to have twelve chapters and an epilogue but that is all up to change, depending if I stick with my outline. This chapter is NOT beta'd so any errors are my fault.   
> Please listen to the playlist I have created on spotify for The Best Of Me: https://open.spotify.com/user/1242147397/playlist/2sCqAwc5Bc9vwmoV1MjGKT

“Hey Eddie!”

A car door slams shut, five of his friends revealing themselves one by one.

“You’re all here?” Eddie smiles, getting distracted, nearly dropping the box in his hand.

“Of course,” Stan slings an arm around his shoulders, “We wouldn’t let you move in with Tozier without apologizing first.” Their friends laugh at this.

Another door slams shut and none other than Richie Tozier pops his head around the moving van, “Ha Ha, laugh it up, you fuckers. But you’re gonna miss us. You’re gonna miss my loudmouth. Just admit it.”

Bill rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips, “Maybe in another life- life t-time,” but Richie knows he’s joking.

“Alright boys,” Bev interrupts, clapping her hands together, “We got six hours before the sun goes down, which means six hours to get this shit in the apartment.”

They all break after that, piling box after box into the newly bought apartment.

And no, no they do not get everything in the apartment in six hours; nobody could stop cracking a joke or telling a story of back in their teen years. But it’s okay- Eddie is okay. He wouldn’t trade those moments for the world- their teen years..

  
  


_ 2009 _

 

_ A familiar ping sound hits Eddie’s window and without looking up, he knows within seconds that his best friend will be coming through. _

_ “Hey, Eds,” Richie lets his feet hit the floor before he’s throwing his jacket onto Eddie’s bed. _

_ Eddie turns around in his chair, resting his arm on his desk. “Hey, Rich.” _

_ “You doin’ homework?” _

_ “Yeah, that midterm kinda killed my grade last week so I asked Mrs. Johnson for extra credit work.” _

_ Richie plops down on the floor in front of Eddie and rests his head against his leg, “I’m surprised she let you try to make your work up. She’s a bitch.” _

_ Eddie reaches down to play with Richie’s curls. “You know, she’s actually not a bitch. Maybe if you were, I don’t know,  _ **_nice_ ** _ to her, she wouldn’t have to play favorites.” _

_ “Hey,” Richie scoffs, “How do you know she plays favorites?” _

_ “Gotta be one to know one.” _

_ “Ouch, Eds.”  _

_ Eddie laughs, “Anyway, I’m glad she did because I probably would have failed her class if she wasn’t so willing to help me out. We’ve got two years left before we graduate and I can’t afford to retake a class. My mom might actually kill me.” _

_ “She was willing to help you out? And at what price? What did you do for her?” Eddie can hear the smirk in Richie’s voice. _

_ “You’re fucking disgusting.” _

_ “I’m serious!” _

_ “No you’re not,” Eddie laughs, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Richie backs up at the sudden closeness. _

_ “So, graduation, huh? What’re your plans after?” _

_ “Richie, don’t do that.” _

_ “Do what?”Richie asks. _

_ “Don’t be that friend who makes small talk about the future.” _

_ “I’m genuinely curious, though. What happens after high school?” _

_ Eddie can see the worry in his eyes, as if he’s almost asking,  _ **_‘what happens to me?’_ **

_ “How about this: after high school, we’ll both graduate, yeah?” _

_ Richie nods. _

_ “And then, we’ll get out of this hellhole town, move away. Move in together.” Eddie smiles down at Richie. _

_ “What if I don’t want to move in with you? _

_ “Fuck you, I take that back- you’d be a shitty roommate anyway.” _

_ Richie laughs, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He pauses and sighs. “You know, sometimes I feel like you’re my rock- I don’t think I’d be anywhere without you.. I’ll have to thank your mom later for that.” It almost could be a serious statement, about Eddie’s mom, but it’s Richie, so of course it isn’t. _

_ “God, you’ve ruined it.” Eddie pushes Richie away, jokingly, but his heart flutters when Richie comes right back up to him. “.. You’re my rock, too.” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Yeah.” Eddie hesitates before pressing his lips to Richie’s forehead. “Now can we stop being so emotional? I’m like two seconds away from crying. _

_ Richie rests his head against Eddie’s leg again, “No, give me a minute. It’s rare that I have these moments.. I need to take this all in.” _

_ “Richie,” Eddie laughs, nudging him up with his knee, “C’mon bubba, let’s go lie down.” _

_ “What about your homework?” _

_ “I’ll finish it tomorrow.” _

  
  


**Present**

Eddie watches all of his friends sit on his living room floor, two boxes of pizza propped up in front of them. He’s leaning against the counter, his eyes hovering over everyone briefly until he gets to Richie. He’s shoving a piece of pizza into his mouth, which, okay,  _ gross,  _ and it makes Eddie laugh, catching Richie’s attention. 

Richie chews and swallows what he has in his mouth and wipes his lips against his shirt sleeve.

“You ever hear of a napkin?” Eddie asks him when he walks over.

“Shut it, Kaspbrak.”

Richie walks until his body is pressed against Eddie’s, and he engulfs him in a hug. Eddie blinks, taken back with his actions, but hugs him back.

“We were sixteen when we said we would move in together. Remember that?”  
“Of course I do.”

Richie pulls away, “You were getting emotional over it.

“So were you, if I remember correctly.”

“Then sometime along the way your memory must’ve gotten fucked up, because I don’t get emo.”

Eddie shoves his shoulder, “Admit it, you’re just as much as a softie as the next person.”

“Who, you?” Richie grins.

“I take pride in being a softie, thank you very much.” Eddie huffs and crosses his arms dramatically.

“Oh, you stop that. Don’t be such a drama queen.” Richie smacks a wet kiss to his cheek.

Eddie wipes his face, “You’re so gross, get away from me.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean you’re gross, but I rather you not go away.” Eddie regrets his words the second they fall from his lips. He blushes and tries to fix it, “who else would I would I purposefully live with just to annoy them?”

“Oh, so  _ that’s  _ why you excitedly signed the contract, next to my name?”

Eddie shakes his head, slipping away from Richie to grab a slice of pizza. He glances at him once more- but nearly dies when he sees Richie smiling back at him.

Those feelings he had for Richie as a teen, the same ones he thought he’d lost for the boy years ago, erupt all throughout his chest. Just looking at him seem to sprout more. 

Eddie, figuratively and mentally, is fucked.  

 

_ 2009 _

 

_ Eddie is fucked. Not physically, of course, even though he wants to be. He watches his best friend take his shirt off, not being able to tear his gaze away. He blinks, multiple times, trying to get rid of the feeling of heat pooling in his stomach. He looks down and, god, really? He’s hard. Eddie closes his eyes and forces himself to look at the ground when he makes his way to his bed.  _

_ He feels the bed dip next to him, and he knows Richie is next time. Eddie reluctantly turns to face him. _

_ Richie sighs, “Did you mean it?” _

_ “Mean what?” _

_ “Mean that we’ll get out of Derry and move in together.” _

_ “Of course I mean it. You’re my rock, remember?” Eddie grins, unable to shake these  _ **_feelings_ ** _ away. _

_ “Promise me.” _

_ “I promise.” _

_ Eddie watches Richie close his eyes and he almost wants to kiss him. Almost. (He does but that’s not important.) What’s important is that he doesn’t and that he keeps himself calm and collected. He barely can, too focused on the boy in front of him, the way his chest rises and falls as he snores quietly. How long his eyelashes are, the way his glasses-  _

**_‘What a dumbass’_ ** _ Eddie thinks to himself, when he realizes Richie didn’t take his glasses off before falling asleep. He reaches out slowly, taking them off from his face, and sets them on his bedside table. _

_ “I promise,” Eddie whispers again, this time more to himself. “I promise.” _

  
  


**Present**

 

Eddie waves his friends goodbye when they leave. He closes the door behind them and turns around, watching Richie putting the leftover pizza in the fridge,

“Tomorrow night’s dinner?” Eddie asks.

“Of course.”

Eddie yawns, stretching his hands above his head. “I’m so exhausted. If it’s one thing I’m glad we did, was put our mattresses in our rooms first. I was afraid I was gonna sleep on the floor and wake up with a sore back in the morning.”

“You sound like an old man,” Richie snorts. “But I agree.”

“I think I’m gonna go to sleep.”

“Alright, me too. Goodnight, roomie.”

“Night roomie.”

 

They both walk to their rooms, across the hall from one another.

Eddie slides his shirt and jeans off, putting on a pair of pajama bottoms, and crawls into his bed. 

He lies awake for hours, not being able to fall asleep. It’s probably just the first night, being in a new environment, of course. But that doesn’t stop him from sitting up, a thought crossing his mind, something he hasn’t done in years.

 

He swings his legs over his bed, putting on his t-shirt he’d discarded earlier, and opens his bedroom door quietly.

Richie’s door is open, he’s always left it open. Eddie stares into it for a few seconds before thinking,  _  yep, this is what I’m going to do.  _ He slowly steps into Richie’s room, squinting his eyes at him, making sure he’s asleep.

“Richie?” He whispers quietly, just in case.

When he gets no response, he wanders over to the opposite side of the bed of which Richie’s sleeping on. He’s got an arm behind his head, his lips parted.

Eddie’s mouth curves upwards, just a little bit. He climbs into the bed with Richie, steadily, not trying to wake him up. He curls himself into Richie’s side, gradually sliding his arm around the other boy’s torso, nearly squeaking in surprise when Richie takes hold of Eddie’s waist.

Eddie freezes, thinking he’s woken him, but he sighs in relief when he hears Richie still snoring. He closes his eyes once more, falling asleep almost instantly. 

* * *

 

In the morning, Richie is the first one to stir awake. When he tries to move his arm, to his surprise, it’s tucked under Eddie’s. He doesn’t want to wake him, but he has to get up.

“Eddie,” Richie gently shakes him. “Eds.”

Eddie inhales sharply, before blinking his eyes open.

“Well, good morning to you, too. I wouldn’t have expected to find you in my bed so early,” Richie smirks.

“Oh my god,” Eddie whispers to himself, shooting up in his spot. He doesn’t even tell Richie to shut up. “I’m- I’m-”

“Hey, it’s fine. You’re welcome in my bed anytime you want. Just let me know ahead of time so I can cancel plans with Mrs. K.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “Shut the fuck up.”

Richie grins, “There he is.”

Eddie gets out of Richie’s bed in a hurry, rushing to his own room, shutting his door behind him with a loud ‘thud’. 

Living with Richie is going to be difficult. 

Not because he’s going to be a terrible roommate, but because Eddie knows that those feelings have never gone away, and that he’s still in love with him.


	2. Back To College

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta for this story right now, so again, any mistakes are my fault!
> 
> spotify playlist link: https://open.spotify.com/user/1242147397/playlist/2sCqAwc5Bc9vwmoV1MjGKT

It’s hard- to Eddie, at least. Richie doesn’t even know what’s going on. Well, only because Eddie doesn’t let anything on. He just continues on, every morning, every evening, and every night.

It’s been three weeks since Eddie had gone to Richie’s bed, and really, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. The last twenty-one days consisted of Eddie pretending like he’s fine, like his heart doesn’t beat fast and hard everytime Richie does, well, anything, or when he flashes a stupid smile in Eddie’s direction; his eyes shining.

Really, his heart doesn’t skip a beat at all.   
He’s lying, of course.

So, when Richie comes into his room, these three weeks later, Eddie wants to puke. He’s reading a book,  _ The Great Gatsby, _ when he hears his door creek open. It’s only eleven-thirty in the morning, neither of them having to work, and Eddie knows Richie like to sleep in late. He puts down his book, watching with confused eyes when his friend crawls into bed with him, lifting the covers up, curling against him.

“Hey,” Eddie says softly, “What’s wrong, ‘chee?”

Richie stays silent for a moment before speaking, “I talked to my mom.”

Eddie sits up. “She called you?”

“Of course not. I called her.”

“Not to be rude, but, why?”

“I told her that I want to go back to college.” Richie shrugs as if it isn’t a big deal.

“What? That’s awesome, Rich!”

“Not to her. She was always the better parents but she still couldn’t care less. You know neither of them supported my decision to major in Art.”

 

And it was true, Eddie remembers.

 

_ 2011 _

 

_ “I have to dropout of college.” Richie says casually, one day, sitting on Eddie’s bed. _

_ “What?! Why would you do that?” Eddie stands up from his desk. “You got into the school of your  _ **_dreams_ ** _ and you’re just going to dropout?” _

_ “It’s not my decision, Eddie.” Richie sighs. “Blame my fucking father.” _

_ “What happened?” _

_ “All of my savings- my scholarship money I put into the bank- it’s gone, all because of him.” _

_ “What did he do?” _

_ “He found my debit card. Went to the bank, forged my signature, and took all of the money out.” Richie looks like he’s going to cry. _

_ “Why would he do that?” Eddie shakes his head.  _

_ “He’s a shitty father, that’s fucking why.” _

_ “Okay, we already know this, though. But I mean, what was his motivation?” _

_ “Gambling.” Richie whispers, gritting his teeth together. “He thought he could get double it back, and put my money back without me noticing. But I did. And he lost all of it.. And now I can’t pay for my next semester.” _

_ “I’m-” _

_ “Don’t. Don’t feel sorry for me, Eddie, please.” _

_ Eddie blinks, because he does. That’s his best friend, how can he not feel sympathy for him? _

_ “I just.. You don’t deserve this, Rich.” Eddie sighs, pulling Richie into a hug, _

_ “I’m gonna have to move back home now- I’m already getting upset about it because I love living on campus.” _

_ Eddie never desired to go to college, so he can’t relate. “I’m sure it’s great, bubba.. You can stay here if you want, of course.” _

_ Richie smiles at Eddie, “Is your mom gonna be okay with that?” _

_ “She better be, because I’m gonna tell her you’re staying for a while.” _

_ “Wow, living with the two loves of my life- what could be better?” _

_ Eddie laughs at that one, “You’re ridiculous.” _

_ “Yeah, well, you love me.” _

_ Richie’s not wrong about that. _

  
  


**Present**

 

“I’m going back into art, but I’m gonna apply to community colleges,” Richie says, but it sounds like a question.

“Are you unsure?” Eddie asks.

“No, no. I’m sure, I just.. I wanted someone else’s opinion.. Someone who.. Someone who believes in me- that could help me get on the right track.” Richie looks up at Eddie as if to say,  _ that someone being you. _

Eddie gives him a reassuring nod, “Whatever you do, you know I’ll fully support you. One-hundred percent.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. Always.”

Richie wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist and snuggles his face into his side. “God, I have the bestest best friend in the entire world.”

Eddie laughs, his heart getting caught in his throat.

“Honestly, Eds. You are. Love you so much.” Eddie thinks he can feel Richie press his lips to his side, but he can’t be totally sure- he thinks it might just be the tingly feeling that’s running throughout his entire body from the physical contact that Richie’s giving him. 

“Love you more.” Eddie chokes out, surprised that he can even speak at this point. “You’re gonna go places,” he finds himself saying. “Your art is going to be discovered by some big shot and then-”

“I’ll become some big shot?”

“You already are, first of all. At least, you think you are.” Eddie jokes.

Richie hits his stomach lightly,  _ “Excuse me,  _ but I think I’m fuckin’  _ fantastic  _ at art.”

“I think you are, too.”

 

Eddie thinks back to when he discovered Richie’s ability.

 

_ 2006 _

 

_ “Hey, Rich, you home?” Eddie hears fumbling in Richie’s room when he gets closer to the top of the stairs. “Richie?” _

_ “No- Eddie please- don’t come in!” _

_ Eddie defies his please- because what if he’s hurt? He has to get to his best friend. He pushes Richie’s bedroom door and sees Richie frantically trying to cover something with his bed sheet.  _

_ “Richie, what the hell are you doing? … Is that.. Are you  _ **_painting_ ** _?” He pulls the cover off slowly, revealing the most beautiful piece of art he’s ever seen. “You painted Mike’s farmhouse? It looks just like a picture, oh my gosh..” _

_ “It’s not even good,” Richie looks at his feet, shrugging. _

_ “Are you fucking crazy? Rich, this is  _ **_amazing_ ** _.” _

_ “You think so?” _

_ “Yeah, I do. Do you think you could paint me a picture sometime?” _

_ Richie grins in response. _

 

**Present**

 

“Now you’re just trying to flatter me, Eddie.”

“I’m not! I swear,” Eddie promises. “You’re better than Leonardo DiCaprio himself.”

“Oh my  _ god, _ I hate you.” Richie huffs, “It’s Leonardo  _ Da Vinci,  _ you nuisance.”

“They’re both Leonardo De-something. Same difference,” Eddie shrugs, laughing.

“.. I really hate you.” 

“No you don’t,” Eddie says.

“You mixed up DiCaprio and Da Vinci, they’re not even in the same  _ era.  _ Did you even fucking try? DiCaprio is the hottest actor of our time and Da Vinci is the greatest artist of  _ all  _ time.” 

Eddie is in hysterics at this point, tears are coming from his eyes- he can’t even form a response. 

Richie throws the covers off of him and groans, “I’m leaving.”

“No, Richie, I’m  _ kidding,”  _ Eddie laughs again.

Richie gets up in Eddie’s face and Eddie swears he stops breathing. “You can’t just  _ joke  _ about art like that, Kaspbrak.” 

Eddie laughs even harder when Richie leaves his room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> richietoaster.tumblr.com


	3. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Beta'd;   
> TW: mentions of child abuse in this chapter

Eddie is curled up on the couch, the TV on a music channel, softly playing in the background as he sleeps. The door opens and closes loudly, jolting him awake.

“Rich?” He yawns.

“Yeah, just me. Did you get the mail?” Richie looks at him expectantly.

For the last month, ever since Richie has applied to literally  _ every community college  _ in a twenty mile radius, he has been religiously checking the mail after he comes home from work.

“C’mon, Richie, you have to stop checking everyday, you’re gonna stress yourself out,” Eddie says, being fully aware of the big envelope sitting on the coffee table in front of them, covered in other random sheets of paper and receipts. 

Richie sighs, plopping down on the couch next to Eddie. “It’s been a month. I’m never gonna be accepted into college. I’m never gonna graduate like I wanted-”

“-Richie-”

“- I’m never going to get back into art. I’m never going to-”

“Richie-”

“-become a painter. I’m never going to-”

“Richie!” Eddie all but screams. “Hey, look at me. Richie.”

Richie slows his breathing and looks at Eddie, who pulls an envelope off of the coffee table, which was hidden. “You are an asshole.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

_ “You looked through it?”  _ Richie looks horrified.

“No! No.It’s just..  No rejection letter is gonna be that thick.”

“That’s what girls say about my-”

“I will strangle you with my bare hands if you finish that sentence.” Eddie scolds.

Richie laughs and reaches for the envelope. He tears it open eagerly, the smile on his face growing bigger and bigger with every word he reads. It reminds Eddie of his mother when he got accepted into Harvard. 

 

_ 2010 _

 

_ It was in late October. Senior year nearly half way through. _

_ “Eddie-bear! Come downstairs, I have something for you!” _

_ Eddie stops mid conversation with Mike and looks at him, rolling his eyes and sighing, “I’ll be right back, okay?” _

_ “Yeah, sure. I’ll still be here.” _

 

_ Eddie prods down the steps, slowly, making sure he doesn’t fall. His mom would surely drop everything she wanted him to come down for, just to take him to the hospital, if he fell. _

_ “What’s up, mom?” _

_ “I have exciting news.” Sonia shoves a large envelope into his hands. _

_ “What’s this?” Eddie asks. He reads the front, in big bold letters, it says  _ **_HARVARD_ ** _. “Mom, don’t tell me this is what I think it is.” _

_ Her face lights up, “I think you know the answer to your question, sweetie. Open it.” _

_ Eddie nearly groans but he opens it anyway. “It’s an acceptance letter. With a.. Full ride scholarship?!” He’s angry. _

_ “Yes!! Aren’t you happy?” _

_ “No, mom! I didn’t apply to Harvard- I don’t even want to go to college, let alone Harvard! You know this!” Eddie exclaims.  _

_ “Be grateful, Edward. I had to use connections that could’ve gotten me into a lot of trouble if I were to have been caught.” _

_ “Then why did you do it? There are so many other deserving kids that would have killed for this scholarship and yet I have it.” Eddie shakes his head, “How dare you go behind my back and do this.” _

_ “Edward Kaspbrak, don’t talk to me like that. Who do you think you ar-” _

_ Before she could finish, Eddie puts the acceptance letter and scholarship information back into the envelope, and tears it up into eight pieces. _

_ “Edward Kaspbrak!” _

_ “You know I didn’t want this! I can’t leave my friends-”  _ **_Richie._ **

_ “This is your dream!” _

_ “No! This is your dream, not mine. I’m not your fucking puppet-” _

 

**_SMACK_ **

 

_ Eddie hardly registers it, but his hand flies to his cheek anyway, holding it tenderly. He shakes his head and runs upstairs, ignoring his mother’s apologies. _

 

_ “Eddie?” Mike asks when he shuts the door behind him. His left cheek is an angry shade of red, the shape of a handprint leaving it marked. _

_ “What did she do to you?” _

_ Eddie ignores his question, immediately saying, “Don’t tell Richie.” _

_ Mike doesn’t.  _

  
  


**Present**

  
  


“I’ve gotten accepted into Charlottesdale Community College.” Richie says slowly, smiling so wide, that Eddie thinks it might fall off of his face.

Richie sets it back on the coffee table before tackling Eddie, pushing him further into the couch, hugging him hard, as if his life depends on it.

Eddie pushes him up by his shoulders, “Hey, you deserve it, ‘chee. You deserve the fucking world.”

Richie grins again, “Eddie, Eds.. Oh my god, this is the best day ever,” he looks down at his friend, suddenly reminded of the very compromising position that they’re in, and he knows by the look on Eddie’s face, that he’s also realizing how close they are. He can’t help but lick his lips, his eyes flickering to Eddie’s, repositioning himself to where he’s practically laying on top of him.

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, nodding to himself when Richie leans down. He can feel Richie’s breath on his face, and they’re just staring at one another. Neither of them move for a solid minute and a half, until Eddie’s reaching up, grasping Richie’s neck. It encourages him to lean further down, their chests pressed together.

Richie takes hold of Eddie’s cheek in one hand, his other hand on the side of him. He leans his head down more, the furthest he’s willing to go, not wanting to scare his friend, laying underneath of him. He nudges Eddie’s nose with his own, a silent plea of  _ go on. _

Eddie’s mind is running at a million miles, trying to focus on what’s going on, trying to get it into his head that he’s  _ centimeters from kissing his best friend.  _ And he’s so gone. He’s so far gone. He pushes himself up on his elbow, closing his eyes, his lips now ghosting over the other boy’s. He decides he’ll let Richie close the gap. One small, tiny movement, and they’d be kissing. 

But, as seconds pass, both of them are waiting for the other to make the last call, the last movement, but neither of them do. And it freaks Eddie out and a chorus of  _ fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck  _ slurs through his head, thinking he’s read into it wrong, that Richie doesn’t want to kiss him. He’s very, very wrong. 

So, Eddie pushes Richie back, letting himself pull away. He stands up quickly, rubbing at his flushed face. “Uh, so.. Um.. congrats, bro,” and walks to his room, slamming it behind him. 

Richie slumps back onto the couch, beginning to think that he read into the signs all wrong, that Eddie’s actually not into him. He’s very, very wrong.

“What the fuck,” Richie mutters to himself, touching his lips, trying to remember the feeling of what almost was. 

 

“What the fuck,” Eddie mutters to himself, sliding down his bedroom door, touching his lips, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

 

Both of them are fucking stupid, and they don’t realize it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for the love on this fic! I've not written a chaptered fic in YEARS so this means a lot to me that you all enjoy it!


	4. Heart On The Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a bitch to write and i think it's kinda lame but it's a filler chapter so,, enjoy :)))

Eddie never wanted to go back to Derry after moving out and away from that town. He never wanted to step foot past the border, never wanted to breathe in the dirty and musty air, never wanted to  _ be  _ in Derry again. 

Yet, here he is. He sighs heavily, jogging up the steps to one of his friend’s house.

Eddie knocks on the wooden door, three times, before it’s swung open. 

“Eddie? What are you doing here? Where’s Richie?”

“Richie’s in class; where’s Bev?” Eddie asks Ben.

“Does Richie like his classes?”

“Yeah, they’re great or something, I don’t know-”

“-He takes evening classes?-”

“- _ Where’s Bev?” _

Eddie nearly pushes past Ben, but he holds out a hand to stop him short. “Woah, woah, woah. Eddie- what’s got you in a rush? I know Bev’s wonderful and all, but…” Ben trails off.

“I need to talk to her.”

“She’s out smoking-”

_ “-Where?” _

“Jesus, Eddie,  _ chill out.  _ I don’t know where she smokes- are you.. Are you alright? You know, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here, too.” Ben jokes.

“I-I know.. Of course.. I just.. I wasn’t sure if you would want to hear about how dumb and pathetic my love life is.”

Ben pulls Eddie in, “You’re my  _ friend-  _ of course I want to hear all about it,” he closes the door behind Eddie and ushers him to sit down.

“So, what’s going on?” Ben asks.

“I’m in love with Richie.”

“Holy mother of  _ God. _ I can’t  _ believe _ it; That is  _ brand new _ information,” Ben says in an overly-sarcastic tone.

“Alright, Phoebe Buffay.” Eddie huffs. “I just don’t know what to do! We almost kissed.”

_ “What?” _

“Yeah, like a week ago. There’s been some.. Weird tension since then.” Eddie looks down to play with his fingers. 

  
  


_ 2009 _

 

_ “Hey babes,” Bev says, finishing off her cigarette, flicking it into the yard below, and climbs into Eddie’s room. “How the fuck does Richie do this? Climbing the side of your house is fuckin’ hard, you’re lucky your window is close enough the the ground.” _

_ Eddie lets out a small laugh. _

_ “What did you want to talk about?” _

_ “How.. how do you know what being in love feels like?” Eddie asks and purses his lips, “a-asking for a friend..” _

_ Bev smirks, “Oh? Why does this..  _ **_friend_ ** _.. Of yours think they’re in love?” _

_ “He told me that it’s just different with this boy. He doesn’t want to like him, but he’s constantly drawn to his best friend, in a way he knows he shouldn’t. He just.. Tenses up everytime he sees him and his mouth gets dry because, his best friend is absolutely beyond gorgeous- I mean, so he tells me…” Eddie doesn’t make eye contact when he tells this to Bev. _

_ “Well, it seems to me there’s some initial attraction, at least.. Can you tell me anything else your ‘friend’ has mentioned?” Bev leans against the wall, crossing her arms. _

_ “Um.. my friend says he’s always there with him, if not physically, then.. mentally.  It’s.. almost as if it’s just them no matter what.” Eddie smiles to himself, “Falling for him.. Each time harder than the last, but it just gets deeper and deeper and sometimes he’s scared of it..” _

_ Bev pushes herself off the wall and sits next to Eddie on his bed. She pulls him into a side hug. “Does Richie know?” _

_ “W-What?” _

_ “Eddie.. You’re not good at pretending. I know you’re that ‘friend’.” _

_ Eddie swallows in denial, not knowing if she’s disgusted or not- but quickly makes the decision to lean up and push his lips to hers. _

_ “Eddie!” _

_ “I’m- I’m sorry-” Eddie brings his hands to his face, “I don’t know why I even did that.. I don’t even like girls..” He lets the last part slip out, surprised he said it outloud in the first place. _

_ Bev sighs, a knowing look forming on her face. “I know, sweetie.” _

_ “You know?” _

_ “I think everyone knows. You look at Richie like.. like he’s the best thing since sliced bread.” _

_ Eddie snorts. “You’re not wrong.” _

_ “Of course I’m not wrong. You just need to tell him how you feel.” _

_ “I will.” _

_ Eddie doesn’t.  _

  
  
  


**Present**

 

“Sexual tension,” Ben notes.

“What?  _ No,”  _ Eddie sputters, “I mean.. Yeah I’d love to get fucked by something other than my life, but that’s not the  _ point.”  _

Ben laughs, “Okay, so the  _ point  _ I’m trying to convey is that you should tell him.”

“Are you crazy?”

“I’m serious, Eddie. If you fight like a married couple, talk like best friends, flirt like first love-”

“-We don’t flirt-”

“-and protect each other like siblings.. Then it’s meant to be. You’re meant to be, I can promise you that.” Ben grips Eddie’s shoulder, “You deserve to be with someone who feels like home.”

Eddie nods and smiles, “Thanks, Ben.”

And then-  _ home.  _ That’s where he has to go- he has to tell Richie.

“It’s nearly six- I have to go home- Richie’ll be home soon- I have to tell him.” Eddie pulls Ben into a tight hug. 

“You got this, Eddie.”

 

Eddie starts his car as quick as he can, a smile plastered onto his face. This is it. This is the day he tells Richie that he’s been in love with him for eight years.  _ This is the day. He’s going to tell Richie. _

He plays love songs all through the forty-five minutes drive back home. Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever been so excited and nervous before. His heart is going to leap out of his chest.

When he pulls into the driveway, he sees Richie’s truck parked on the side of the road, and his heartbeat quickens more. 

_ Richie’s home, he’s probably on the couch watching his favorite Reality TV shows or doing schoolwork, just walk in and  _ **_say it_ ** _ ,  _ Eddie tells himself,  _ no regrets, just walk in and tell him straight up.  _ Eddie knows if he doesn’t he’ll chicken out. He’ll chicken out and the words will get stuck and he’ll freeze up and it just.. Won’t happen. And Eddie is too pumped to back down now. 

Eddie’s hands are trembling when he walks up the sidewalk. His hands are trembling when he reaches for his keys, he  _ drops  _ the keys, quickly picking them up and he’s shoving it into the lock as fast as he can.

Eddie pushes open the door and shuts it behind him quietly. “Richie?” 

No answer. He kicks off his shoes, holding onto the wall for support. “Are you home? I need to tell you something important.”

No answer. Maybe he’s in his room. 

Eddie pulls his phone out of his pocket, and reads  _ six fifty-two P.M.  _ Richie should be home. He sighs, his adrenaline surely slowing down by now- but then he hears Richie’s laugh come from the living room.

Eddie says louder, “Rich! I have to tell you something,” He pauses, inhaling deeply before turning the corner to their living room, “I’m in lo-” 

Richie’s on the couch, with some girl that Eddie’s never seen before. She’s pressed underneath of him, her hand tangled in his hair and his hand up her shirt and lips against hers.

“Oh.”

Richie jumps, startled, and moves away from the girl. “Oh, hey, Eds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sigh,, our boys are just so stupid


	5. Hurts Like That

Work is killing Eddie. He’s been there since seven in the morning, it now only noon, and only three customers have come in. He notices that there’s always more people that come in during the summer than winter.

Eddie twirls the pencil in his hand, doodling in a small notebook, the one they write down the orders in.

“Do you think we’re losing business?” Eddie asks one of his coworkers, Shay.

“Nah,” Shay says, “Nobody wants Ice Cream in the winter. It’s cold outside, who wants to  _ eat _ something cold?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know. I like Ice Cream. It’s a treat no matter what season.”

Shay laughs and rolls her eyes, stocking the utensils with a sigh. “So how are your friends? How’s Richie?”

Eddie clenches the pencil in his hand, snapping it half. He looks down, shocked at his actions.

Shay laughs, “I didn’t know Richie Tozier was  _ that  _ infuriating.”

“Oh my god, you don’t know the half of it,” Eddie tosses both pieces of the pencil into the trash. “I’m now  _ living  _ with him.” 

“What? Since  _ when?” _

“Middle of September? Something like that. We moved in together two months ago.”

Shay gives him a knowing look, “If he’s so annoying, why do you live with him?”

Eddie rests his head on his hand, “because he’s my best friend.”

“And you love him?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“You didn’t have to.”

Eddie opens his mouth to spew out a snarky reply, but the bell above the door sounds.

“Hi, welcome to Happy Cones,” Eddie says to a possible customer, lamely.  _ Possible customer is cute,  _ Eddie notes. He looks to Shay, “I really hate our name.”

“I think it’s cute,” the guy says.

“Oh- um, thanks? I’ll have to tell our manager that.” Eddie says. He leans into Shay’s space, whispering to her,  _ “He’s so cute.” _

Shay takes her apron off, “I’m taking my break. Can you handle this by yourself?”

Eddie glares at her, “Yes, Shay. I can.”

“Hm,” Cute Boy says, making Eddie look back at him, “What’re your specials?”

“Tuesdays are Two Scoops. Buy One, Get one.”

“Awesome,” Cute Boy licks his lips, “If I get two scoops, would you be willing to share it with me?”

He’s flirting. He’s  _ totally  _ flirting. And he’s  _ cute.  _ If he can’t be with Richie, then he thinks he deserves to have this. 

Eddie leans forward on the counter to try and say something flirty back, but what comes out is, “Um, that’s actually really gross and unsanitary, so no.”

Cute Boy looks almost sad and Eddie panics, “But how about I give you my number instead?”

“I’d like that.”

Eddie writes his number on a piece of paper and hands it to Cute Boy, “I’m Eddie, by the way.”

“Jason.”

Eddie smiles. “I get off of work at three, text me then?”

“Will do,” Jason says and begins to head out the door.

“Wait! You don’t want your ice cream cone?”

“Nah, I got something better,” Jason waves the piece of paper with Eddie’s number on it.

 

Eddie waits for Shay to come back and tells her what happened.

“I don’t know, Eddie.” Shay shakes her head, “I thought you liked Richie?”

“I-I do.. But he had a girl in the apartment a week ago, so. That’s out of the question.”

“She could’ve been just a friend.”

“He had his hand up her shirt. They were kissing.”

Shay’s eyes widen, “That’s..”

“I know.”

 

Seconds later, the bell sounds again, in walking Richie Tozier himself.

“Speak of the Devil,” Eddie says, smiling to himself. He hums a song to himself while Shay puts her apron back on.

“Talking about me?” Richie pulls up a stool, sitting in front of the counter, and takes a pencil out of the holder, playing with it.

“Only a little bit.” Eddie grins.

Richie makes a face, “Why do you seem so,” he makes a circle motion with his hand at Eddie, “so cheery?”

“Oh,” Eddie blushes, “is it noticeable?”

“Yeah. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that, but you hate working here.”

Eddie laughs, “Yeah, but a cute boy was flirting with me so I gave him my number.”

“You  _ what?”  _

“Yeah,” Eddie shrugs.

“You gave some random person your number?”

“So what?”

“That’s dangerous!”

“Okay and? You brought a random girl to our  _ apartment,”  _ Eddie huffs.

“Yeah but you don’t even know this guy. He could like, hurt you or try to assault you or something.”

“Are you implying that everyone I meet is out to hurt me?”

“Of course not,” Richie says, “You just don’t know him and I think what you did was stupid.”

“Why is it okay for you to bring a girl  _ home  _ but I give someone my number, and suddenly it’s the end of the world?” Eddie asks, the irritation visible on his face. 

“Why do you keep comparing it to what I did?”

“Because maybe I think that was dangerous and stupid.”

“Well, I think you’re being ridiculous.” Richie tells him.

“Fuck you. Go home, Richie. I’m not going to fight with you at work.”

Richie makes a face before angrily stomping out of the parlor, slamming the door behind him.

Eddie groans loudly. 

“Sounds to me he was jealous.” Shay says.

“Why the fuck would he be jealous?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Eddie. Why would he be jealous? Hm, let’s see. You’ve been best friends since the second grade, you both like boys, you guys went to senior  _ prom  _ together, what else? OH YEAH, did you think that I forgot the story you told me about you two  _ kissing  _ on graduation night?”

Eddie’s breath hitches, “You remember me telling you that?”

  
  


_ 2011 _

 

_ “Can you believe we’re finally graduated?” Richie asks, nudging Eddie’s shoulder with his. They’re both laying side-by-side in Eddie’s front lawn. _

_ “Yeah, it’s crazy..” Eddie sighs, his gaze not leaving the dark sky, stars illuminating it.  _

_ “I can’t believe I’m going to the school of my dreams..” _

_ “Full ride scholarship, right?” _

_ “Yep, all of the money is in the bank. I won’t touch it unless I’m using it for tuition.” _

_ “That’s good. I’d hope not.” Eddie continues to stare at the sky, completely mesmerized by it. _

_ Richie doesn’t speak for a few seconds, until he shifts onto his side, looking at Eddie, “hey,” he says softly. _

_ Eddie tears his gaze from the stars to look at Richie,“hey,” he repeats. Eddie looks down when he feels Richie’s hand brush at his own. _

_ “I couldn’t have done anything without you.” Richie moves his hand slowly, his fingers touching Eddie’s. He laces their fingers together cautiously, expecting Eddie to pull back, but he doesn’t.  _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “Getting the scholarship, graduating, living..” _

_ “That last one sounds depressing,” Eddie giggles, turning to lay on his back again.  _

_ Richie doesn’t move. “It’s not, I.. You’re my rock, remember?” _

_ Eddie shifts to his side again, “You’re my rock,” he agrees. He attempts to go back to his previous position again, but Richie grabs at his waist with his free hand to stop him. They share a smile, one that feels more.. Intimate..  _

_ Eddie doesn’t know who leans in first, but suddenly they’re kissing. Richie’s thumb slips under the fabric of Eddie’s shirt and Eddie’s hand is holding Richie’s cheek gently. Their lips move together slowly and Eddie feels like he’s on fire. He moves his body closer until he’s pressed against the other boy, sliding his arm around Richie’s neck, his his hand moving into his hair. Richie moves his hand to Eddie’s back, fisting his hand in his shirt, and it’s then Eddie can still feel Richie holding his other hand, neither of them having let go.  _

_ Their breathing becomes hot and heavy between kisses and their tongues moving against the other. There’s so much intensity and electricity and neither boy has felt anything like it before. They don’t stop. They don’t stop kissing. Not when Richie’s hand slides to Eddie’s ass to grab and pull him on top of him, in the out in open of Eddie’s front lawn. Eddie couldn’t care who sees at this point. They don’t stop kissing when the urgency of it all turns into  _ **_need_ ** _ and hips begin to grind down on one another. They don’t stop kissing when Eddie pulls Richie’s hair, or when his lips trail down his best friend’s neck. _

_ They stop when they hear the front door open, Eddie springing off of Richie, fixing his shirt as quickly as he can before his mother pears around the corridor. _

_ “Eddie, is Richie staying for dinner?” _

_ “U-um, yeah, mom,” Eddie’s voice sounds hoarse.  _

_ Richie and Eddie look at one another awkwardly, avoiding eye-contact, a silent agreement to never speak of what happened, ever again. _

_ They don’t. _

  
  


**Present**

 

“What does any of that have to do with Richie being jealous? Us kissing once..  _ six years ago  _ has nothing to do with him possibly being jealous.”

“It has  _ everything  _ to do with it, Eddie.”

“How?”

“You have to at least find someone attractive to kiss them, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Eddie shrugs.

“So, Richie and you kissed.”

“I’m not understanding.”

“Even as Richie’s best friend, you admit he’s attractive?”

“Well, yeah. But I’m also attracted  _ to  _ him.” Eddie says.

“Exactly. You were also attracted to him six years ago.”

“I’m still not understanding.”

“Okay. You agree that someone has to be a least a little attracted to another person to kiss them, yes?” Shay waits for Eddie to nod. “Well, Richie was the one who grabbed you- he initiated the moment.”

“Okay..?”

“Attraction turned into a crush and a crush turned into..” Shay tries to get Eddie to finish it. Eddie doesn’t.

“For fuck’s sake, Eddie! Richie is jealous because he’s in love with you!”


	6. Words Don't Have To Play The Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lack of words in my chapters are pissing me off, and im sure you guys are tired of short updates, but the next chapter will make up for it, i PROMISE

“Do you think I’m depressed?” Eddie asks Shay the next day during their shift.

Shay looks up from her phone, almost alarmed, “What? Why would you say that? Do  _ you  _ think you’re depressed?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know.”

Shay sucks her bottom lip in, “Did that boy end up texting you?”

“Yeah. Yeah he did. He asked if we could meet up for coffee today.”

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t reply. I also don’t like coffee,” Eddie runs a hand through his hair.

“Is it because of Richie?”

“Everything is because of Richie. I can’t get the motherfucker out of my head.”

“Why don’t you talk to him?” Shay suggests.

“We talk everyday.”

“No,  _ dumbdumb,  _ I meant: why don’t you talk to him about your  _ feelings?”  _ Shay rolls her eyes.

“I told Bev I would eight years ago and I never did.”

“Because you’re fucking stupid, Eddie. We’ve been working together how many years now? Five?”

“Yeah, five.”

“I’ve met your friends countless times. We’ve hung out together. I can see how Richie looks at you, and for you not to see that.. Dude, I would die if someone looked at me how Richie looks at you. Open your eyes.” Shay grabs Eddie’s shoulders, “I said it yesterday, and I’ll say it again: Richie is in love with you.”

“Shay, stop it.”

“Eddie, no. Do you have your head that far up your ass that you can’t even think of it as a possibility? C’mon. You’re smarter than that.”

“He’s not in love with me.” Eddie rests his head on his forearms, not looking up when the bell above the door dings.

“Stan’s here.”

Eddie peeks his eyes up at his friend, “Hey.”

“Hey Eddie, Hey Shay.” Stan looks at Eddie’s face,“Why does everyone look so depressed?”

Shay raises her eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“I picked up Richie from class because his truck is in the shop. Again. And he barely talked to me.”

Eddie shrugs, “Yeah, I don’t know. Weird.”

“Yeah and I come here and you look and act like someone killed your fucking dog.”

“I don’t have a dog.” Eddie says.

“You’re so stupid.”

“I’ve been telling him that all day, Stanley.” Shay sighs loudly, and a grin breaks out on her face, “But now you’re here, I need a second opinion.”

“On what?” Stan asks, leaning his arm on the counter, intrigued.

“Okay, finish the sentence: Eddie and Richie are..?”

“Stupid.”

Shay laughs, “not what I was looking for but still correct. Try again. Richie loves..?”

“Eddie.”

Eddie scoffs when Shay cocks her head at him, “told you, babe.”

Stan’s eyes widen, “WAIT.. Did Richie tell-”

“No,” Shay says, “Eddie doesn’t think it’s possible for Richie to be in love with him.”

“Because he doesn’t!”

Stan looks at Shay, the realization hitting him, “Eddie.. It’s okay to be afraid, you know that, right? But, I’m serious when I say this: you both are stupid.”

Eddie shoots a look at Stan.

“Okay, sorry sorry.. Richie loves you, too.”

_ “Too?”  _

Stan rolls his eyes, “You’re not exactly subtle.”

Shay nods in agreement.

“Wow, you both suck.” Eddie says, blowing a strand of hair from his face.

“We’re just saying it as is,” Shay crosses her legs, throwing them up on the counter next to Stan’s face, earning a hit to her legs.

“Well.. let’s say that this is true, okay? That.. Richie loves me back. What do I do?” Eddie bites one of his nails out of habit.

“You tell him,” Stan shrugs as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world (and it is).

Eddie snorts, “Yeah, okay.”

“Why is that funny?” 

“Because, Stan. Last time I was told to do that, I found him sucking face with a bleached blonde on our living room sofa.”

“You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Shay tries to reason. 

“Listen to us, Eddie: Richie is in love with you. And you are in love with him. But you’re both doing some really dumb shit right now.” Stan points a finger at Eddie, “Get your shit together.” He picks up his jacket from the stool next to him, “I would love to stay and continue to wallow in this self-pity party, but I’ve gotta run,” another finger point to Eddie, “I’m serious, you fuckface. Get your shit together.” 

With that, Stan leaves the Ice Cream Parlor, leaving Shay and Eddie alone.

“You know.. Stan’s kinda hot.. Is he single?”

Eddie groans and hits his head against the counter.

* * *

 

When Eddie’s shift ends two hours later, he drives twenty miles under the speed limit, not caring about the risk of being pulled over. He doesn’t want to go home, and he definitely doesn’t want to be confronted by Richie or talk to him of that matter. 

Eddie knows what it’s like to be screwed over. To lose a best friend, to lose someone so close and valuable. He doesn’t want to go through that with Richie. And he knows that Stan and Shay are right, he knows eventually he’s going to have to talk about his feelings with Richie, but he doesn’t think he’s ready to confess. He doesn’t think he’s ready to lose his best friend. Eddie knows it’ll just be inevitable when that time comes. He just needs a little longer to process everything, to wrap it around his head, to get his shit together.

But he doesn’t have a little longer. Because the second he unlocks the door to their apartment, he’s being pulled in by Richie and into a hug.

“What..” Eddie tries to say.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you yesterday.” Richie whispers.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you since then.”

“Why were you avoiding me?”

_ Shit. _

“I.. I have, uh.. I have a lot going on.” Eddie pushes away from him gently. “I’m going to bed.”

“It’s five in the evening.” Richie deadpans.

“Yeah, well, I’m tired.”

“And I’m tired, too, Eddie. I’m tired of you shutting me out.”

_ Here it is,  _ Eddie thinks,  _ this is the part where I lose everything I love. _

“I’m not shutting you out.” Eddie tells him, and it's not a total lie. He’s not  _ meaning  _ to.

“Don’t lie to me.”

A whine escapes Eddie’s throat, “Richie, please.. Can we talk about this later?” 

“I don’t want to talk about, whatever’s going on, later. I want to now. Eddie, you’re worrying me.”

“Nothing is wrong!” Eddie screams.

“If nothing is wrong, then why are you yelling at me? I just want some answers!” Richie sits down on the couch, putting his head into his hands, running a hand through his hair.

“You want answers?” Eddie asks, gulping.  _ Oh, God, he’s really doing this. _

“Yes!” Richie practically leaps to his feet, “I want answers, Eds..”

“Christ, Rich. you’re so stupid,” Eddie starts walking slowly toward him.

“Me? How am I st-” And before Eddie could change his mind, he grabs Richie’s face and kisses him. 

Richie’s eyes are wide but he squeezes them shut, as if he’s afraid he’ll wake up from a dream, and kisses Eddie back. He puts his hands on his hips, pressing his fingertips into Eddie’s skin.

Eddie wraps his arms around Richie’s neck, tugging him closer, bodies together. He allows himself to open his mouth, Richie’s tongue immediately invading it. And it’s great- so, so great and completely mind blowing. He can feel his breath quickening, and it suddenly feels like he’s eighteen again, laying in his front yard with Richie. It’s like he’s eighteen again, kissing him hard and slow, the stars glowing above them, and neither of them having a single care in the world. 

Eddie doesn’t know what he’s doing, or maybe he’s thinking clearer than ever before, when he pushes Richie down on the couch, climbing on top of him. It’s like he’s eighteen again, rolling over onto Richie in the grass. He doesn’t know what he’s doing when he begins kissing down and sucking on Richie’s neck, reality seeming to be far out of Eddie’s reach.

And then:  _ holy shit what am I doing? I’m kissing Richie, sucking on his neck.. What am I doing? What am I doing?  _ **_This is the part where I lose my best friend.._ ** Eddie isn’t ready for that.

Eddie stops his movements as quick as he started them, pushing himself off of Richie’s lap, wiping the saliva coating his lips. 

“Oh my god,” Eddie whispers.

“Eddie-”

“No, no,  _ don’t.  _ I already know what you’re going to say.” Eddie stands up and rubs his hand over his face.

“You do?”

“Yeah, please just save it..”

“What are you  _ talking  _ about?” Richie shakes his head, standing up. “I-”

“No, Richie, please.. I’m sorry..”

Richie looks at Eddie with confused eyes, “Why are you sorry?” 

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

Richie’s face falls, and Eddie would have known how hurt he was if he hadn’t been looking at the floor with regret.

Eddie thinks all he knows how to do is fuck up, and he’s not wrong, it’s just in a different sense. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Shay are my heroes just sayin


	7. Illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, i wanted to apologize for this being such a long wait! Here is chapter seven. Enjoy it while you can because chapter eight is going to be a short filler and very angsty!!

Ever since Eddie was younger, he wasn’t one to take risks. He would always play his decisions on the safe side. Sometimes he wonders how he got so far in life at twenty-four years old, rarely taking risks. Yet, that can also be contradicted when he’s never gone to college or had a real job. He’s stuck at an ice cream parlor, the very same when he got his first job at nineteen. He had to beg his mother to even let him apply at places.

He supposes he can blame his mother for being so closed off, anxiety ridden. Eddie’s never tried to break free of that, but when he’s only been on his own for four years, he’s still learning how to be on his own, learning how to be his own person. Decision making is hard for him. A simple solution can take days for him to make, scared he’s going to make the wrong choice.

When Eddie first met Richie, they were in second grade. Richie had come up to Eddie, who was scared of everything, and screamed in his face, asking if he wanted to be his friend and play tag with him at recess. Eddie didn’t like loud noises, and the kid in front of him was the definition of loud. Still to this day, he is. It took Eddie the entire time that they were outside, to decide if he wanted to play with Richie and his friends, and when he went to go find him, their teacher blew the whistle, signaling them it was time to come inside. Richie told him Eddie that he could join them on Monday. And Eddie did.

Since then, Eddie and Richie have been joined at the hip. Eddie has spent sixteen years of his life, knowing his best friend. He doesn’t want to lose that because of his feelings. Eddie decides that he’ll steer clear of Richie for a few days, attempting to clear any tension they have. No one ever said that Eddie’s decisions are smart.

It seems as though the universe has different plans for Eddie, however. When he wakes up the next morning, he can smell the bacon, toast, and eggs that are being cooked in the kitchen.

Eddie stretches and swings his legs over the side of his bed. It’s one of those days he sleeps in for an extra, and well needed, three hours. Usually, he’s glad to be off work, but under the circumstances, he just wishes he had a shift.

He knows he can’t avoid Richie (much like he planned) and that feeling of anxiety comes rushing back in that moment, the uneasiness of every nerve in his body yelling at him to abort whatever the fuck he’s doing to make him feel so nauseous.

Eddie sighs, standing up, and taking his phone off charge. He slides in into his sweatpants’ pocket,  finally retreating to the kitchen.

He peers around the corridor, finding Richie behind the stove, cooking. He’s shirtless, Eddie notices, and he bites the tip of his thumb to keep from screaming.

“You’re awake,” Richie says when he turns around. His voice shakes Eddie from his thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah.. I slept longer than usual.. It’s nice knowing I don’t have to go in to work today..” Eddie scans Richie’s face for any signs of _hey this is fucking awkward one of us should leave the room, like asap._ He finds none.

“Are you joining me?” Richie motions toward the food on the stove, “I think I cooked more food than what’s necessary.”

Eddie blinks, “Yeah, of course, Rich,” he licks over his top row of teeth, slowly, before clucking his tongue. “Anybody would be crazy to pass up anything you cook.”

Richie smiles, “Alright. I set out peanut butter and jelly for you. I know you like it on your toast.”

Eddie’s heart swells, “Thanks, ‘chee.”

He fixes himself a plate of food and reluctantly sits across from Richie at their small table for two. Richie eats slowly, Eddie watching him carefully. He has to advert his eyes when the taller boy looks up at him.

“You gonna eat?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, immediately shoving half of a piece of toast into his mouth,

Richie exhales fondly, “Slow down, you’ll get a stomach ache.”

Eddie nods, looking at Richie’s face for the first time since he entered the kitchen. His eyes drop down to Richie’s collarbone and he sees three small bruises on them. His eyes widen.

Richie notices this and laughs, “Yeah, I went to the bathroom this morning and I was shocked when I saw it, too.”

“Oh, fuck.”

Richie, who seems unfazed by it all, winks, “who knew that mouth of yours could do that?”

 _“Richie,”_ Eddie warns, because he really has to make a joke? Seriously?

They’re quiet after that and Eddie can feel eyes on him. He drops his fork onto his plate, letting it clatter loudly.

“Richie-”

“Eddie-”

 

Eddie coughs, “You go first..”

“I was just going to tell you to forget about.. what happened.. What were you gonna say?”

“I was going to apologize,” Eddie begins. Richie looks uncomfortable. “I really shouldn’t have-”

“Eddie, stop. Please. It’s fine. You got caught up in.. whatever moment was going on.”

“..Okay,” Eddie stuffs his mouth full of eggs.

 

They fall back into another wave of silence, but Richie breaks it again, “I don’t have class or work today.”

“Yeah?” Eddie swallows the food in his mouth.

“Yeah,” Richie nods. “I was thinking we could like.. Get a drink tonight or something.”

Eddie knows he’s trying, so he nods. “Yeah, that could.. We could do that.”

“If you don’t want to, don’t enlighten me, Eds.”

“I do!” Eddie protests.

“Okay,” Richie’s mouth curves upwards, almost like he’s trying not to smile.

“Okay.”

“Maybe ‘Okay’ can be our al-”

 _“Shut up, Richie,”_ Eddie laughs, “You’re such a nerd.”

Richie grins at this. “Alright, it’s a date, then.”

“It most certainly is not.”

Richie hooks his foot to Eddie’s and Eddie nearly chokes. “Kidding, Eds.”

Eddie shoots him a look.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t call you that,” Richie raises his hands in defense.

Eddie smiles.

“But I’m still going to.”

_“Dick.”_

* * *

  


“What’s an appropriate time to go to the bar,” Richie asks, eyes fixed on the TV screen in the living room, flicking through channels.

“Richie, it’s only like two in the afternoon.”

Richie checks his phone, “Actually, it’s two thirty-seven.”

“Literally, I hate you. Shut up. And can you stop changing the channel? It’s driving me fucking insane.”

“Everything I do drives you insane.” Richie snorts, ignoring Eddie’s request.

“I didn’t say that,” Eddie scoffs.

“Yeah, but we both know it’s true.”

Eddie pushes Richie’s feet, that are resting on his lap, off of him. He leans over and grabs the remote from his hands, “Give me that.”

Richie pushes the button one more time, the channel landing on Game Show Network. He groans loudly, “No, Eddie, I hate Game Shows!”

“Well it’s a good thing I don’t, right?” Eddie shoves the remote behind him, out of Richie’s reach.

“That won’t stop me.” Richie says.

“I believe it. Please don’t though. You know how much flicking through channels drives me crazy.”

Richie sighs, “I know, but there’s nothing good on!”

“Is there ever?”

“When Reality TV has good shit playing, yeah.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “You and your TV drama.”

“I live for it.”

Richie’s phone buzzes, interrupting their conversation. He looks at it with no expression.

“Who texted?”

“Uh.. McKenzie.”

“Who’s that?” Eddie tilts his head, never hearing of the name before.

“The, um.. Girl.”

Eddie feels his fist clench, but he quickly unclenches it, not wanting Richie to see. “What does.. she want?”

“I told her we were going out for a drink tonight. She wants to come.”

Eddie wants to scream that NO, no, it’s NOT okay. But they’re not together and he has no reason to be angry, so he says, “Yeah, whatever. I don’t care.”

“You can tell me no-”

“She can come. _Bring her,”_ Eddie’s voice sounds almost challenging, like Richie wouldn’t, if he got on his knees and begged him not to.

“Fine,” Richie says, “I’ll tell her to meet us there at nine.”

“Fine,” Eddie thinks he chokes.

* * *

  


“Why the fuck are we getting an Uber there?” Richie asks him, taking out his card.

“Because driving under the influence isn’t good, and neither of us are driving drunk.”

“Smart.”

“Well, yeah, I don’t want to die.”

Richie slings an arm over Eddie’s shoulders, “I would never let you die.”

 

* * *

 

The second the two get into the bar, Eddie already wants to vomit. The smell of smoke and alcohol and sweat fills his nose, and honestly, it’s fucking gross. But Eddie wants to get drunk, that’s what he’s come to do and it will be done, and he knows it might be hard, because despite what others think, Eddie is not a lightweight.

 

Eddie has two shots of vodka in him by the time McKenzie shows up, and once she’s there, sliding herself between him and Richie, he take another two. He thinks Richie has about the same amount of alcohol in him.

 

Eddie’s alone for an hour, before he’s completely fed up with this girl all over Richie. And he knows that he _said_ for Richie to bring her, but he didn’t think things through, okay? He eyes them before taking another shot. He sighs loudly, standing up from the stool, pushing through s few people.

“Move, I’m gay,” He says to McKenzie, nudging her away from Richie. Richie gives him a confused look, but doesn’t question it. Eddie doesn’t even think twice about his actions, the alcohol giving him confidence, and he pushes himself up on the balls of his feet. He pulls Richie down by his neck, kissing him right on the mouth. Eddie can’t resist doing so, not anymore. Not when he looks like.. like _that.._ Not when he’s already tasted him the previous night.

He considers pulling away, but when he tries, he feels the grip Richie has on the back of his neck, and he decides against it. Eddie thinks this might be one of his best decisions yet. He feels so good, Richie feels _so good_ pressed against him, their lips moving at an unsynced movement. That’s okay, because it’s great, it’s so great, it’s _more than great,_ and Eddie thinks that’s the only word he can say currently.

Eddie barely has a moment to react before Richie opens his mouth with his tongue, delving in. Their tongues roll against each other, and Eddie can feel the burn of the vodka on Richie’s, the taste seeping down his throat. Everything is warm and tingly and he feels like he’s home in Richie’s arms.

_Home home home home.._

That’s where they need to go, they need to go home, and they need to go home _now_ and Eddie thinks _that’s_ the best decision ever, actually, especially when Richie’s trying to shove his hand down his pants.

“Home,” Eddie says into Richie’s mouth.

“What about it?”

“We need to go there and you need to put your hands on me.”

Richie agrees with a moan. It would have been exceptionally loud if it weren’t Eddie’s mouth still covering his. “Yeah, okay. Home. Let’s go.”

Neither of them make a move to exit the bar, their lips still hungrily attacking one another’s.

“Serious, we have to go. Now.”

Richie kisses down his neck before reluctantly pulling away, “could fuck you right here and you’d let me, wouldn’t you, Eddie? Let everyone see how hungry you are for my mouth? My cock?”

“No, that’s only for your eyes only.”

Richie groans, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the bar. He texts for their Uber, taking him a while to get onto the app, Eddie distracting him way too much.

The entire way home, Eddie lets Richie kiss him so hard, he thinks he bruised.

When they get to their front door, Eddie can’t open the door fast enough. No, really, he drops the keys three times before Richie takes them, unlocking the door pushing it open so quickly. Eddie lets himself be shoved against the wall, Richie’s hands roaming. He grips the bottom of Eddie’s shirt.

“Can I?”

“Yeah, yeah. Fuck, get it off.”

Richie pulls it over his head in one swift motion, taking his off next, immediately attaching his lips to his neck, a spot where the collar of his shirt was covering. Eddie pulls at Richie’s hair, whining when he feels suction.

Eddie’s eyes nearly roll to the back of his head when Richie lowers himself, holding onto his sides, kissing and licking his skin above the waistline of his jeans.  “C’mon, Richie.. Don’t tease..”

“Okay, room. Let’s.. Room.”

“Who’s?”

“Mine,” Richie says, “I’ve got condoms and lube.”

“Of course you do.”

“Are you really complaining about that right now?”

“No,” Eddie gasps when Richie nibbles at his ear, “fuck, no.”

 

Richie throws Eddie onto his bed, unbuttoning his jeans, pulling them off, shimmying out of his boxers as quick as he can. He pulls Eddie’s off, not bothering to fumble with the buttons, both his jeans and boxers sliding off at the same moment, because there’s just not enough _time_ and that time could be spent with his mouth on Eddie’s dick, or his own being inside Eddie. He kisses down Eddie’s neck, biting the soft skin and taking it between his teeth, and Eddie is a mess.

Eddie lifts his body up, trying to get any type of contact he can.

“Eddie, Eddie, baby.. What do you want?” Richie asks, his head becoming increasingly closer to Eddie’s dick, and he’s about to have an aneurysm if Richie doesn’t touch him or.. Or for christ’s sake, _something._

“You,” Eddie says, “You, all of you.”

Richie’s about to suck him off, but Eddie hits the top of his head, stopping him. “No.”

“No? No, what?”

“Just, _god,_ get inside of me, damn you.”

Richie laughs, sitting up to reach over to his bedside table, pulling out condoms and lube. He screw off the cap to the bottle of lube, dipping his fingers in, covering them in a generous amount.

“I’m gonna put a finger in you, okay?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”

“You’re so needy, Eds.”

“God, you’re amazing and shit, but please, just.. stop talking.”

Richie inserts two in, instead of one, wanting Eddie to feel the initial sting, wanting this to move faster.

“C’mon, Richie..” Eddie lets himself rock back Richie’s fingers, twisting inside of him.

Richie pumps him, good and steady, finding a rhythm that Eddie seems to be more than okay with, before adding another. He kisses Eddie’s thighs, sucking more marks into his soft skin.

“Richie, Richie, fuck, shit. Stop. I’m gonna come if you don’t stop.” Eddie sounds so sinful, moaning and whining, and Richie is fucking _there_ for it.

“Okay, tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me that you want me to fuck you.”

Eddie moans again, “Richie, I want.. I, fuck. I want you to fuck me.”

That’s all Richie needs before aligning himself, pushing inside of Eddie, who’s already a groaning mess underneath of him.

Eddie pulls him down, kissing him hard, raking his nails down Richie’s back as he thrusts into him. He kisses down Richie’s neck, sucking every inch of skin his mouth can reach, covering it in hickeys.

Richie quickens his pace, digging his nails into Eddie’s hips, rolling his own down into Eddie. He pants into Eddie’s mouth, grinding into him, kissing him so hard that not only is his skin bruised, but his lips, too.  Eddie makes a fist and brings it up to slam it on the wall behind him, slurring out a string of curses.

“You’re so loud.. You’re gonna piss off the neighbors.”

“I don’t care, I’ll wake them up and all they’re gonna hear is me screaming your name.”

“Eds, I.. shit. Fuck, baby..”

“Mine,” Eddie says, kissing him, “Mine, mine, mine.”

Richie grunts, lowering his lips to Eddie’s chest, “I’ll show you _mine.”_

And not long after, Eddie’s chest and abdomen are covered in double the amount of hickeys that Richie’s neck is.

After a few more thrusts, Eddie’s moans become screams, screaming Richie’s name, just like he said, and Richie swallows most of his shouts with his mouth, shoving his tongue inside his mouth. Richie, surprisingly, comes first, Eddie following about fifteen seconds later. He rides out their orgasms, slowing his pace, and eventually stopping, collapsing on top of Eddie.

Eddie moves a strand of Richie’s sweaty hair, tucking it behind his ears.

Their breathing is still heavy and hot, and Eddie has to cough a few times before speaking. “Do you think we’ll remember this in the morning?”

“Not a chance, baby.”

“I didn’t think so.”


	8. Paper Houses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst is almost at its peak and ending! give it one more chapter and everything will be happy!!

Sometimes Eddie makes mistakes. He makes big, stupid, horrible mistakes. Sometimes he doesn’t always know what’s going on; he doesn’t pay attention to his surroundings. Eddie isn’t always the most observant person when it comes to.. Well, anything, really. Which is why when he wakes up, he freaks out almost immediately.

Eddie begins to stir, not opening his eyes yet. He yawns and stretches his arms out wide, surprised when he hits something beside him. He doesn’t look right away, scared that whoever is next to him will confirm his suspicions of why his ass hurts. Eddie turns his head slowly, blinking away the sleep. He nearly chokes when he sees Richie next to him, much rather would have wanted a random guy, because now this makes  _ everything _ worse, and things were just starting to get better. He and Richie were just starting to pass the awkward moments between them. 

“Oh my god,” Eddie says, a little too loud for his hangover. He winces once, at the sound of his voice, and a second time when he sees Richie prop himself up on his elbows.

“Oh, hey, good morning, Eds.” Richie yawns, “Did you come into my room again last night?”

Eddie swallows the lump in his throat, “No, Richie.. I fell asleep with you..” He averts his eyes, not wanting to make eye contact. “I-I think.. I think we, um.. Slept together.”

“.. Slept together.. Or,  _ slept  _ together?”

_ “Slept  _ together.”

Richie looks under the covers and sees both of them naked.

“Richie, put the blanket down!”

“Why? I mean, I’ve seen you naked before.”

“It’s different now!” Eddie sits up on the bed, “It’s different.”

Richie’s eyes widen when he sees the marks,  _ the marks he made,  _ all over Eddie’s body, sitting up himself.

“Holy shit,” The two say in unison. Eddie’s eyes snap up to lock with Richie’s.

“You must’ve been really good. Better than your-”

“Richie, stop. Don’t. Especially not  _ now.”  _

Richie’s gaze softens, “Right. Right, I’m sorry.”

“Why do you do that?” Eddie asks, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.

“Do what?”

“You say the most inappropriate things at the wrong fucking time.”

“You know me, Eds-”

“Don’t,” Eddie says, “Don’t call me that.”

Richie sighs, “You know how I am, Eddie. I’ve always done that. I don’t know, it’s like a coping mechanism, I guess?”

“Please, stop.”

“By the looks of things I can say for sure that isn’t what you said last night.”

“Richie! Really?” Eddie hides his face in his hands, searching around him for some clothes to cover up with. “Turn around,” Eddie goes to grab his boxers. He waits for Richie to listen, and once he’s not looking, he’s quickly throwing the blanket off of him, pulling them on as fast as he can. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Eddie contorts his face.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about.. About  _ this.  _ About  _ us.  _ Best friends don’t kiss each other or.. or have sex with each other. That’s not normal! This isn’t normal!” Eddie motions between them, “We aren’t fucking normal, Richie.” 

“We were drunk!”

“Yeah, maybe so, but that doesn’t make it any fucking  _ better!”  _

They’re quiet for a minute, Eddie pacing nervously, Richie biting his nails of habit.

Richie points at Eddie’s chest after a few more moments, “I did that.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“And you did this,” Richie points to his own body.

“Yeah.. I did.”

“Doesn’t it fucking mean anything?”

Eddie pales and swallows, not wanting to say the words that he forces out of his mouth, “Of- of course not.. Like you said, we were drunk!”

“I don’t fucking get you.”

Eddie gapes,  _ “Me?  _ You don’t fucking get  _ me?  _ We have been friends for fucking  _ sixteen  _ years. Sixteen years and you don’t fucking get me?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It sure sounded like that’s exactly what you meant.”

Richie shakes his head, “Why are you acting like such an asshole?”

“Why are you acting as if us having sex is perfectly normal? You’re brushing it off like it is.”

“Nothing between us has ever been normal,” Richie retorts, turning his gaze away from Eddie, “Don’t you remember graduation night?”

“Richie-”

“Of course you do. I  _ know  _ you do.” 

“Richie-”

“If for whatever reason you can’t remember, let me refresh your memory: When we were eighteen years old, we kissed for the first time. It was very gay and cliche and we kissed and you  _ loved  _ it,” Richie says, malice hiding underneath of his words. He loved it, too, loved last night, even if he couldn’t remember any of it. Eddie wasn’t about to know that, though. 

“Stop.”

“No, because you know it’s true. You know it’s true. You had a huge, fat crush on me. Everyone knew. I did, at least. I don’t understand why you never said anything, though. Was it because you were  _ scared?  _ Were you  _ afraid?”  _ Richie taunts, trying to get under Eddie’s skin, but also genuinely wondering why he never said anything.

“Yes, Richie!” Eddie screams, “I was fucking terrified. Because I knew this is exactly how you would react. You would react exactly how you are right now. You would have taunted me, and made fun of me, and rejected me, and.. and.. Nothing would have ever been the same.” Eddie wipes a tear that falls down his cheek, “And it won’t ever.”

“Eddie-”

“Shut up, Richie. I think you’ve said enough.”

Eddie walks to Richie’s bedroom door, opening it. He stares at the doorknob before reluctantly turning around. “I can’t do this anymore. I know we always said we were going to move in together and live together, and I mean, yeah, we did, we  _ are, _ but..”

“Eddie, no..” Richie closes his eyes. He can barely look at Eddie without wanting to cry.

“You know this wasn’t going to be forever, right? I mean, look at us. We both weren’t stable enough in our jobs until earlier this year to even move out of our parents’ houses.”

Richie shakes his head, “C’mon, Eds.. This is stupid.. Can’t we just apologize and forget about it?”

“I don’t think I could, Richie. I want to move out.”

 


	9. Back To The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last angsty chapter.. im also doing a double update so look forward to that!!

“Eddie, come on, where are you even going to go?” Richie sits down next to him, huffing loudly, “Listen, I said I was sorry-”

“I’m staying with Shay until I can find somewhere else to go. Sorry isn’t enough, Richie.” Eddie folds his clothes nice and neat, piling them on the couch. “If you’re going be in my way, can you at least help?”

Richie reaches over to take one of Eddie’s shirts. He almost smiles, but then stops himself when Richie unfolds it. “No.”

“Stop being difficult.”

“I’m not being difficult,” Richie says, frowning when Eddie takes the shirt back. “Do you remember when we first met?”

Eddie looks down, whispering, “Of course I do..”

  
  


_ 2001 _

 

_ Eddie doesn’t have any friends. He supposes that’s what he gets for having relocated to a completely different town in the middle of second grade.  _

_ He watches the other kids on the playground chase one another, or play tag, or hang around on the monkey bars and swing set. It makes him upset, because nobody wants to spend recess being alone, kicking rocks on the pavement, sitting on the curb.  _

_ Eddie is about to go inside, hang around the Nurse for a little bit (he’s in there so much, that he considers her his only friend), when he hears loud footsteps coming toward him. He looks up just in time to be tackled by a kid with crazy hair, and big glasses, cracked in the left lense. He’s got chocolate all over his face and Eddie is disgusted. _

_ “HIMYNAMEISRICHIE,” The boy is screaming, and sitting on top of him, and Eddie kind of can’t breathe. _

_ Eddie pushes the boy away and brushes himself off, “what did you say?” _

_ “I said that my name is Richie. Well, actually it’s Richard, but I like being called Richie.” _

_ Eddie nods, “Okay.” _

_ “What’s your name?” _

_ “My mommy says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” Eddie crosses his arms. _

_ “Then how do you make friends?” ‘Richie’ says. “I’m trying to tell you my name, and you’re supposed to tell me yours, and then we aren’t strangers anymore.” _

_ Eddie smiles, “I guess you’re right. My name is Edward, but I don’t like that, either. You can call me Eddie.” _

_ “Okay, cool.” Richie helps Eddie to his feet, “Are you new here? Is that why you don’t have any friends?” _

_ Eddie stomps his feet, “I do have friends! They’re just.. At my old school.” _

_ “Well, we can be friends! I can take you to meet my other friends. They’re the cooliest.” _

_ “That’s not a word.” _

_ “It is now.” Richie grins, “So, do you want to play tag with us?” _

_ Eddie pretends to think for a second, “Yeah, I’d love to-” but just as he speaks, the bell goes off and everyone is running back inside to their classrooms. _

_ Richie puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, “Don’t worry. We’ll see each other again on Monday. We can play tag then.” _

_ Eddie doesn’t really want to wait the whole weekend to have recess again. Despite Richie being loud and annoying and everything his mother said is not a good quality to have in a friend, Eddie likes him. Eddie finds him interesting. _

  
  


Present

 

“My mom was wrong about you,” Eddie says, pushing aside a box. 

“What do you mean?”

“She told me when I first moved to Derry, that the nicest kids were always the quietest, who kept to themselves, and would make a good friend. But you’re nothing like that, and you.. You’re still a good friend..” Eddie makes eye contact with Richie for a split second, then goes right back to folding his clothes.

Richie sighs, “Can’t we just.. Forget about what happened?”

“Richie, I have hickeys all over my chest, scratch marks all over my back, and then when I went to go take a piss this morning, I found even  _ more _ hickeys on my inner thighs. This isn’t something that we can just ignore.”

“You’re running away from the problem, Eddie. You don’t want to deal with it so you’re running away, and you’re the one ignoring it yourself. I’m at least trying, okay? I can’t lose you.”

Eddie folds the top of the box, grabbing another one to put some picture frames and books in, “You’re not going to. I just need to breathe, for like two fucking seconds, without you. We’ve been around each other for sixteen years and I.. never expected this to happen. I need to breathe.”

“What, you never expected us to have sex?”

“No, Richie, that doesn’t come across my mind as often as much as you might think,” Eddie says but he’s lying through his teeth. He’s been waiting for it since he first kissed Richie in his yard at eighteen years old, but he never thought it would happen, and if it did, he didn’t expect them to be drunk. The only proof he had of it were the marks all over his body and having a slight limp in his step.

“I was being sarcastic.”

“When aren’t you? You’re never serious.”

Richie sputters, “Excuse me,” takes a picture out of Eddie’s hands, tossing it on the couch, “I’m being serious right now but you’re not listening to me.”

“I’m packing, and I’m trying to focus on that.” Eddie sighs, unplugging his lamp to put in another box.

“Which proves my entire point.”

“It doesn't prove anything!” Eddie raises his voice. He pauses, turning to face Richie. He puts a hand on his shoulder, “Richie, I love you, I do, but you’re not fucking helping me at all. You might want to talk about it but I’m not ready to talk about it. Drop it. Please.”

Richie does, staying quiet, longer than ever. It’s the quietest Eddie has ever heard him be.

“You can talk to me, just not about that. Not right now.” Eddie wants to hug him, he wants everything to be normal, but he knows it couldn’t be the same.

Richie swallows, looking at his hands. “Look, I’m sorry okay? Why can’t that be enough?”

“Because, Richie.”

“Why?”

Eddie looks away, inhaling deeply, “Because I’m not sorry that it happened.”

“You-You’re not?” Richie asks. He wants to grin, he wants to kiss Eddie, he wants to tell him that they’ll be okay! 

“No, Richie. That’s why I’m packing.. why I’m going to stay with Shay.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Yes, I do, Richie. I have to go.” 

 

That’s when Richie realizes that he needs to put an end to this confusing shit, to put an end to all of the wondering and hoping, and face his fears and tell him how he really fucking feels. 


	10. Can't Escape You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is a round of fluff because it's time

“You can’t go.”

“Why the fuck not, Richie? I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t do it, I can’t live with you- like this!”

Richie steps closer to him, raising his arms dramatically, “What the fuck do you mean by that, Eddie?”

“.. You know I have to go.” Eddie looks at the floor, a tear rolling down his cheek.  
“That’s not an answer.” Richie deadpans. “What if I don’t want you to leave? What if I don’t want you to move out?”

Eddie sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“Then stay.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, grabbing the last box to take to his car, opening the door. Richie slams it shut behind him, startling Eddie, making him drop the box.  
“You’re lucky there’s nothing breakable in that, asshole.”

Richie ignores him. “You don’t want to go, either. You don’t want to leave. I can  _see_  it in your eyes.” 

Eddie wipes away more tears. He  _has_  to leave, has to get away from Richie, has to move out. He can’t handle being near Richie anymore. Eddie doesn’t have anymore control; if he loses what he has left, he thinks he’ll ruin his and Richie’s friendship, more than he probably already has. 

Eddie shakes his no, because he doesn’t want to leave.. He just has to.

“Then stay,” Richie repeats.

“I.. I really can’t, no matter _how_ much I want to, it just doesn’t matter, Richie.”

Richie hits the wall with his palm, getting visibly angry. “Why not Eddie?! Huh? Why are you leaving if you don’t want to go?” He knows they’re both repeating themselves at this point, trying to backup their arguments.

Eddie’s lips form into a tight line, and he clenches his teeth together before screaming, “because I’m in love with you, you idiot!”

Richie blinks in surprise. He can’t move; he’s been waiting to hear those words for years and they’re finally out there.

“Are you fucking happy, Richie? I’ve said it and now you hate me. This is what I-” Eddie cuts himself off when he sees Richie walking closer to him, “What are you doing? Are you gonna hit me or something? I-”

Richie grabs Eddie’s forearms, pulling him into his space, “Do you ever shut the fuck up?”

Eddie shakes his head, “I don’t understand.”

“You are the most oblivious person I have ever met in my entire life,” Richie says, laughing to himself. He doesn’t waste another second before crashing his lips onto his best friend’s. He can taste Eddie’s tears on his lips, can feel the tremble in his arms and hesitation in his movements.

“Eddie,” Richie rests his forehead onto his, “Does that make it any clearer to you? At all? Please say yes because I don’t think I can kiss you anymore and take the heat of being reject-”

_“Say it.”_

“Say what?” The corner of Richie’s mouth curve upward into a smirk.

“You  _know_  what I mean. I want to hear it.” Eddie pauses, waiting for Richie to speak.

“Eddie Kaspbrak,” he’s still holding his forearms, “I am so utterly and ridiculously in love with you.” Richie lets go and cups his face, “I want you. All the time, all day, everyday. I have been in love with you since I was sixteen years old.”

Eddie stifles a cry, “God,” he wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, “we’re a pair of idiots, aren’t we?”

“Speak for yours-”

Eddie hits Richie’s arm. “Richie, come on, be serious.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”

“Can you kiss me again?”

“Only if you say it back.” Richie grins. “I mean, don’t though, if you don’t mean it.”

“Richie,” Eddie rolls his eyes, “I kissed Bev when I was sixteen because I couldn’t get you out of my head. And fucking eight years later, you’re still in my head. I’m so ridiculously in love with you, too.”

Richie snorts, “Bev? You kissed  _Bev?”_

“Yeah, but it didn’t mean anything. I’m gay as fuck and she was.. Ben Hanscom as fuck. Still is.”

“You’re so stupid.. I still can’t believe you didn’t get the hint after my tongue was in your mouth on graduation night.”

“I was in denial!” Eddie laughs, “I was in denial and I was still afraid and I thought it was like.. A one time thing. Because we got caught up in the moment.”

“I mean, stargazing, really? I probably would have shit myself if I didn’t at least try to make a move on you then. I.. had to see. I needed to know if what I felt was a one-sided thing, and for the longest time I did, even after. We didn’t talk about the kiss literally up until a few days ago, and I tried using that against you. I’m sorry for that.” Richie scratches the back of his neck, clasping Eddie’s hand in his. He guides them to the couch to sit down.

“It was really shitty of you, but we both were kind of.. Not in the right mindset. That doesn’t mean you were wrong about what you said, though.” Eddie shrugs, “I knew living with you was going to cause me to..” He trails off, unable to find the right words.

“To cause everything to unravel. Like, it was going to happen eventually.”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods. “I just wish I wasn’t so stupid. We could have been together for a few weeks now if I wasn’t such a dumbass.”

“You want to be with me?” Richie asks, voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course,” Eddie doesn’t miss a beat, “More than anything.”

Richie shifts closer, “Please, tell me that you’ll be my boyfriend.”

Eddie smiles and angles his head, “Only because you asked so nicely..” He kisses Richie nice and slow and it’s everything they’ve been waiting for. The feeling of their lips pressed together is exciting and familiar but it’s also new. Richie’s lips nudge Eddie’s, trying to get him to part them. Eddie grins against Richie’s mouth, his boyfriend using that to advantage to snake his tongue in.

They kiss for a while until Eddie pulls away. “So, can you help me unpack.. Again?”

“You’re staying?”

“Yes, I’m staying,” Eddie says. “You can’t kiss me like that and expect me to leave.”

Richie ducks his head, suddenly bashful.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just..” Richie takes a breath, “Would you mind if we.. moved your stuff to my room?”

Eddie grasps Richie’s neck, forcing them to lock eyes, “Not at all.”

Richie presses kisses all over Eddie’s face, tugging him on top of him and lets them fall backward onto the couch.

“Rich, come on,” Eddie giggles. “I wanna get everything in before it gets dark.”

“You act like you have so much shit. You’ve got like, what? Five boxes? Maybe six?”

“Yeah, but.. I just wanna lay with you. Is that so much to ask for?”

“Of course not, bug.” Richie stands up and pulls Eddie with him. “I am so ready for this cuddlefest.”

“Don’t call it that, you weirdo.”

“Is that not what it is, though?”

Eddie sighs, “Alright, alright. Fair enough..” He moves across the room, but not fast enough. Richie grabs his hand, drawing him closer. He searches his eyes before diving in to press another kiss to his lips, both in sync. Richie doesn’t pull away until he deems Eddie as breathless.

“What was that for?” Eddie asks, cheeks red.

Richie shrugs, “I don’t know.. Just because I could.”

“O-Okay..”

Kisses anytime he wants? Or just because? Eddie thinks he’s gonna like this whole  _boyfriend_  thing.


	11. So You Say You Wanna Get Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff fluff fluff.
> 
> also sorry about the last scene, I had a hard time wording it? It might seem rushed but i think it's fine

A resolution.

It’s what this entire thing feels like to Eddie. Like he was some princess stuck in a tower, finally being rescued from a knight in shining armor. Except there are no dragons or evil stepmother or stepsiblings or towers.

On second thought, Eddie decides that it’s a really bad comparison but he still feels like somehow there’s a resolution. Somewhere in this mess, he thinks, he let himself feel. Feel. He deserves to feel happy, right? Just feel.

That’s all he’s doing currently. Feeling. In a literal and mental sense. He’s tracing every inch of Richie’s skin that’s showing from underneath of the comforter.

“Eds,” Richie breathes, slowly stirring from his sleep. “What’re you doin’?” He looks up at the other, who’s sitting up next to him.

“Feeling.”

Richie snorts, opening one eye to look at Eddie. “You’re so fucking weird.”

Eddie grins, leaning down to lightly graze their lips. “Good morning.”

“It is.” Richie wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist securely, trying to pull him down. “Lay with me.”

Eddie shifts his position to where he’s half on top of Richie, half on their (their!!!) bed. Their legs are tangled together. He pushes himself up on his elbow so he can look at Richie. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” Eddie presses a kiss to Richie’s chest, “I just like looking at you.”

“Disgusting,” Richie says, a smile plastered onto his face, nuzzling into the crook of Eddie’s neck.

“You love it.”

“Mmmm love you.”

Eddie kisses Richie’s hair, lifting his chin up to kiss him properly. His eyes flutter shut, Richie’s mouth finding it’s way to fit on Eddie’s almost perfectly. 

Richie runs his fingers down his lover’s back, pulling him in closer and he knows Eddie can feel how fast his heart is beating. 

Warmth spreads through Eddie’s body when he feels Richie kiss his jawline, kiss the spot underneath it, kiss his neck, kiss all over his face and feeling his lips right back on his again. It’s like their kiss could say everything they’ve tried to.  _ I’m sorry. It’s okay. I love you. I love you too.  _ With every movement, the love between the two only runs deeper and wider and it flows like a river and it doesn’t stop. Eddie never wants it to stop. Neither does Richie. Once they had the other, they continued to want and want and want and it doesn’t end there. Because when Eddie kisses him, he tastes like home.

Richie pulls away, his hand resting on Eddie’s cheek. He brushes his thumb over it, “What’re you thinking?” He feels Eddie shrug.

“I don’t know. You. Us.”

“Us?” 

“Yeah. I feel good.”

Richie kisses Eddie’s shoulder. “You feel good?”

“Mhm. You make me feel good.” 

Richie’s heart grows in size and he can hear the sincerity in Eddie’s voice that he doesn’t even attempt to make a sex joke. “I always want you to feel good.”

“Always sounds like a promise.”

“It is,” Richie nods. Eddie smiles. 

“You mean that?”

“Yes,” and he does.

 

Eddie throws himself so he’s fully on Richie, hands instinctively placing themselves onto his hips. He leans down to open-mouth kiss Richie’s bare chest, trailing up toward his neck.

“So hot,” Richie breathes, earning a giggle from Eddie.

Eddie kisses his skin, one, two, three times, before he’s sitting up on Richie’s waist.

“I’ve got to get up soon.”

“Noo,” Eddie whines, “Can’t you stay here?”

“As much as I’d love to, I have to go to class, baby.” Richie rubs at his sides affectionately.

Eddie’s eyes flutter and he stuffs his face into Richie’s neck when he hears the petname.

“Can’t you skip? Just once?”

Richie gives him a look, jokingly places the back of his hand to Eddie’s skin, “Is this the  _ real _ Eddie Kaspbrak I’m talking to? Telling me to  _ skip?”  _

“Shush,” Eddie swats his hand away, “just wanna love up on you.”

Richie gently slides out from underneath Eddie and the sheets. He picks his boxers up off the floor, putting them on quickly, ignoring the smug look his boyfriend’s giving him.

“I have to start getting ready, really. I would love to stay home but professors take their art classes seriously and I do too. I’ve got to prepare for the art show on Friday.”

Eddie sits up, hugging the blanket to his chest, “I forgot about it.”

“You don’t work that day, do you?” 

Eddie shakes his head, “No, I don’t.”

“So, you’ll be there?”

“Of course I will. I can escort you and everything. Got to live up the supporting boyfriend role, don’t I?” 

Richie grins and leans across the bed to kiss Eddie quickly.

“I’ve gotta shower,” Richie says against his mouth.

“Want me to join?”

Richie’s eyes darken, “I do, but not much of showering would then be done.”

Eddie rolls his his eyes. “I could wash your hair for you,” he offers, and he know Richie can’t say no to that.

 

Spoiler: he doesn’t.

That’s how they end up in the shower together, Eddie kissing the back of Richie’s neck softly as he massages his scalp.

“My professor says that an art critique might show up on Friday.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think one will, she’s not exactly good on keeping secrets.”

Eddie laughs, “Is an art critique showing up, good?”

“Sometimes,” Richie reponds. “Some critiques are usually ones that can get you famous, but they’re in disguise or something. I’ve seen it in movies.”

“I bet if one does show up, they’ll sign you to an art business or whatever it is they do. Your art has gotten so good.”

“You’ve not seen my latest piece,” Richie scrubs at his chest, soap rinsing off of his body.

“No,” Eddie agrees, “You haven’t showed me.”

Richie turns around, “Because it’s a surprise. You’ll see it Friday.”

“That’s like, six days from now. Can’t you give me a hint?”

Richie pretends to zip his lips. He reaches around Eddie to shut the water off.

“Okay, now that’s not fair. Give me a hint, pleaseee?”

A towel gets thrown at his face.

“Such an asshole,” Eddie huffs, playfully.

“You love me.”

“I do.”

After the pair dries off, they get ready in a record’s time.

Richie stands up, putting on his jacket and fixes his collar. “Need a ride to work?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

* * *

 

They ride in a ten minute comfortable silence, Richie pulling in a parking space in front of the Ice Cream shop.

Eddie pokes his cheek, “Will you pick me up from work today?”

“Shay isn’t riding you home?”

“No, just wanna show you off. Shay’s been waiting for us to get together for a long time.”

Richie laughs, “I think all three of us have been waiting for that.”

“I know,” Eddie yawns. “So, will you?”

“Mhm, what time do you get off?” 

“Three. I know you get out at the same time, but I can wait a few minutes.”

“Alright,” He leans in to peck Eddie’s lips. “I will see you,” another kiss, “around three-thirty, then.” 

“Alright, baby.” Eddie smiles and exits the truck, turning around to wave before he enters the building. 


	12. You Speak Right To My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU AMY FOR CO-WRITING THIS CHAPTER WITH ME

The first half of Eddie’s shift passes by relatively quickly, which was something that never happened. He had been holding back on admitting to Shay about his new found relationship with Richie, which becomes more difficult by the second. He’s not too sure that he’d be able to hold out much longer. He wants to tell his friend, wants to watch her reaction as he tells her the news that he’s sure she desperately wants to hear. Shay has been rooting for them for years, and Eddie knows this. He knows that he’s shot the idea of he and Richie together down, many times before. But Shay sees through him, Shay always knew they’d end up with each other, it was always just a matter of  _ when.  _

Eddie watches as Shay moves behind the counter and he turns to face her, a wide smile on his face. This is it, he’s going to tell her the news, and watch as she either hugs him, or ends up telling him,  _‘I told you so’._ Whatever her reaction would be, Eddie knows it would be a positive one, “Hey, Shay?”

Shay looks up from the notepad, scribbling out a previous order. “What’s up, Eddie?”

The collar of Eddie’s shirt feels like it’s suddenly strangling him, and he pulls at it to try and breathe better. “Um.. I wanted to tell you something.”

“Nothing bad, right?” Shay asks, worry replacing her smile for a moment. 

“No, nothing bad..” Eddie swallows the saliva that starts to pool in his mouth, “You know how I never texted that guy back? The one who gave me his number?”

A smile once again, forms on Shay’s face, “Yes? Oooh, are you and this guy like, banging now?”

“No! No, no.. I didn’t text him because you know I had feelings for Richie, right?” Eddie feels his cheeks heat up, not knowing where the fuck he’s going with this.

“Yeah..” Shay trails off, confused.

“Well, now I’m sort of.. Seeing someone.”

Shay rests her head on her hand and leans on the counter, “If you tell me you’re seeing anyone other than Richie Tozier, be prepared to be yelled at about how dumb you are. The both of you.”

“There’s no need for that, Shay..” Eddie bites his lip and turns away to look at the floor.

“No fucking way. You and Richie? Fucking finally? Is this a dream?” Shay pokes at Eddie’s face to receive a slap to the wrist.

“Shut up, Shay,” Eddie laughs, before he adds quietly,  “Yeah, finally.” Even thinking about his new relationship with Richie makes Eddie blush like he’s still in high school. It’s a feeling he isn’t used to. No-one has ever made him feel the way Richie does.

“Also- Eddie, is that a  _hickey_ I see?”

Eddie quickly covers both sides of his neck and blushes, **_“_** _Shut up,_ Shay.”

Shay opens her mouth to speak, but the bell above the doorway sounds and catches her attention. She closes her mouth abruptly, seeing who the person is. “Speak of the devil,” Shay looks over to Eddie and winks.

 

Eddie turns around as Shay speaks and his eyes land on Richie, who stands on the other side of the counter, arms crossed and a smirk on his face, “Talking about me, Eds?”

“It can’t be three-thirty already?” Eddie looks at the time on his phone, eyes going wide as he realises that it is after three. “What a quick day.”

“Yeah, it went by really fast for me, too.” Richie sits on one of the stools, “How was work for you both?”

“Slow, but entertaining. Eddie told me a  _ really  _ interesting story today.” Shay looks at the smaller boy and wears her smirk proudly. 

Eddie side-eyes her and shakes his head quick but subtly, “It wasn’t  _ that  _ interesting-”

“So, what are your intentions with my best friend?”

A groan erupts from Eddie.

Richie lets out a cackle, his head tossing back, hair falling over his face, “Oh you know, the usual, sex.”

Eddie smacks Richie across the arm, and sends him a glare, “Of course that’s your intentions with me.”

Shay’s head moves back and forth between the two and her smile grows wider at their bickering, “Oooh. I’m so happy right now!”

“So, the sex, it’s hot then?”

_ “Shay!”  _ Eddie scolds her, “You have a mouth as trashy as Richie.”

Richie leans forward and kisses the spot under Eddie’s ear, “Yeah, but it’s not the same, baby.”

“Not helping, Richie.”

Shay yawns dramatically, “Nobody is gonna answer my question, then?”

Eddie and Richie share a glance, both unsure of how to answer. Richie takes the hit, “We really only had sex once.. And we were both wasted.”

Shay blinks at the two of them, “You mean you’ve only done it once, but you don’t  _ remember _ ? That sucks.”

Eddie looks at Richie and then ducks his head. Just as he opens his mouth to reply, the doorbell jingles again as it opens, and in walks Jason, the guy that Eddie never texted back because he was hung up on Richie. 

Shay looks at Eddie, leaning into his space to whisper in his ear, “Is that Jason?”

“Yeah, that’s him..” Eddie sighs, “God, this should be fun..” He puts on his fakest smile and looks at him, “Hello, how can I help you?”

Jason looks at the three individually, “Actually, I just came to see how you were doing, Eddie.” Richie sits up further in his seat, suddenly interested in who this guy is. 

“Oh?” Eddie swallows, looking at Richie then Shay.

“Yeah, you never texted me. I thought we were hitting it off, you know? I was hoping I would still be able to take you on a date, if you were still up for it,” Jason smiles and takes the seat next to Richie.

Eddie blinks, glancing at Richie, trying to read his face, “About that, Jason, I-”

He’s cut off by Richie gently grabbing at his chin and pulling him in close to slot their mouths together. Their lips move in sync for a few seconds before Eddie’s pulling away, embarrassed.

“Hi, I’m Richie, Eddie’s boyfriend,” Richie sticks his hand out for Jason to shake, and Eddie wants to die seeing the awkward confrontation.

Jason blinks a few times, eyes glancing between both Richie and Eddie, and he takes a step back, “I see, well, I’m sorry to interrupt, Eddie. It was nice seeing you again anyway.” Without another word, Jason backs out of the store, the door closing behind him.

Eddie turns to Richie, his cheeks a light shade of red, “I can’t believe you just did that, Richie. That was so embarrassing.”

“Couldn’t let him flirt with you like that, though.”

“I was handling it, Rich. I was going to tell him that I’m only interested in one person and one person only, that it wasn’t him,” Eddie reaches up to touch Richie’s face, thumb rubbing over his jawline.

“Yeah? Who might that person be?” A small smile plays on his lips, knowing exactly that Eddie’s talking about him.

“You’re silly,” Eddie says, “You know it’s you.”

“You guys are so cute it’s making me sick,” Shay comments from the side. “Go home and be cute in private.”

Eddie flips her off but punches himself out of work anway before he turns to face Richie, “Are you ready to go home?”

“Mhhmm; bye Shaaayy,” Richie draws out slowly. He receives a wave from her, Shay trying to scrub the ice cream maker.

 

“So, good day at work, then?” Richie asks once they’re both in his truck.

“Yeah, but I missed you,” Eddie leans his head on the headrest and looks at his boyfriend, “You think we can just lay in bed all day tomorrow?”

Richie licks his lips and leans in to capture Eddie’s in a short, sweet kiss. “I’ve got class at three tomorrow, babe.”

Eddie pouts, “Fuck class.”

“Wish you had that attitude in high school,” the tone of Richie’s voice is playful.

“I never wanted to miss class, you know this.”

“Yeah and I always tried getting you to skip,” Richie laughs and starts the vehicle up, “Funny how it’s flipped now, huh?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and turns his head to the road as Richie’s drives off from the ice cream store and heading to their apartment, “So is that a yes to skipping class? Just this one? Please?”

“Think it’s gonna take a little more convincing than that,” Richie looks over and winks at Eddie, grabbing his hand to kiss the back of it.

Eddie flushes and moves the hand not being held by Richie and sits it on Richie’s thigh, “Oh? How would I be able to do that exactly?”

The car swerves slightly and Richie immediately releases Eddie’s hand, and takes the other one off of his leg, “Eddie, baby I love you, but if you want to get home safely, please don’t do that again.”

Eddie smirks, but keeps his hands to himself for the remainder of the drive. Eddie finds it hard to believe, that two days ago he wanted to move out, and now here he was teasing Richie in the car on the way home. Eddie feels overwhelmed, just a little, what if this new found relationship changes things between them? Eddie doesn’t want things to change with the way they acted around each other now that they’re a couple. 

 

“I can hear you thinking,” Richie says as he opens their front door, “What’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours?”

And  _ damn it.  _ Of course Richie would notice something’s off. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie says as steadily as he can, moving past Richie to curl up on the couch.

Richie stares at him for a moment, before he’s dropping his bag to the floor and heads in his direction.

“Why,” Richie kisses his cheek, “are you,” one on the lips, “lying?” and a last one to his other cheek.

Eddie pushes him away just a little and he sighs, “What if things start to change between us now that we’re dating?”

Richie blinks at him for a few seconds before he smiles, “Eds, believe me, nothing is going to change between us. You’re still you and I’m still me. We just,” he leans forward and presses another kiss to Eddie’s lips, “get to kiss now.”

Eddie looks down, before he glances his eyes back up, “You’re really positive about that aren’t you?” 

Richie grins, a shit eating grin, “Well, of course I am Eds, I mean, I’m pretty sure that I’m going to marry you one day.”

“Pretty sure?”

“I  _ am  _ sure,” Richie corrects.

 

Eddie smiles and closes his eyes and can’t help but remember the one time Richie said it before. Of course, they were only thirteen, but now he’s almost positive that it was a sign to what’s currently happening.

 

**_2006_ **

 

_ “You know,” Richie says, “I think we’re gonna get married one day.” _

_ Eddie turns around in his chair, leaning on the back of it, “You’re crazy.” _

_ “Am I?” Richie asks, “Just think about it. Neither of has been in a relationship or kissed anybody so like, it’s obvious we’re going to die alone.” _

_ “We’re only thirteen.” _

_ “Yeah, maybe so. But, I think we should be prepared for the worst. You should at least, I mean nobody can resist my charm. Would your mom ever remarry?” _

_ Eddie chucks a book at Richie’s head, who dodges it, “Shut up, asshole. I actually feel bad for whoever ends up marrying you.” _

_ “It’s definitely gonna be your mom. Then you really can call me daddy. Brings a new meaning to it, doesn’t it?” _

_ “You’re fucking disgusting.” _

_ “Okay, okay, no. I’m sorry.” Richie lifts himself off of Eddie’s bed and sits at his feet, “I’m serious, though. We’re gonna get married one day, you watch.” _

_ “I’m serious, too. I think you’re crazy,” Eddie says, but he can’t help but feel his stomach tie in knots; something he’s never felt before. _

_ “Crazy for knowing that we’re going to tie the knot one day? More like a genius!” Richie winks at Eddie and rests his chin on his best friend’s knee. “And when we do, you’ll owe me a kiss.” _

_ “That’s usually what happens when two people get married, and sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s never going to happen.” _

_ “We shall see Eddie Spaghetti, we shall see.” _

 

**Present**

 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie sighs, weaving his arms around Richie’s neck. He allows Richie to get closer, Richie’s hand pressing into the couch beside him, bracing himself above Eddie.

“Why are you sorry?” Richie shifts himself so half of his weight is on Eddie, and the other half is on the couch. 

“Because I’m just being dumb.”

“Well, I’m not going to argue with that, sweetheart.”

Eddie shoots him a look and Richie kisses it off of his face, “Stop that, you. It’s alright to be afraid. But, you gotta remember that it’s new for me, too. You know?”

Eddie blinks up at him before nodding his head, “I know, I know. I’m sorry, Richie.”

“Stop apologizing, everything is okay. We’re okay, yeah? I have a bunch of  _ ‘your mom’  _ jokes still up my sleeve if you wanna go for a real throwback.”

“Do not.”

“I won’t, I think I’ve retired from them,” Richie noses at Eddie’s cheek, kissing his jawline, “I’ve got a trashier mouth, but in a different way.”

Eddie chokes, “I’m.. I’m sure you do.”

“I’ll save it for another time, though. Just wanna lay with you.”

“I knew you were a softie,” Eddie grins.

“I never said you were wrong,” Richie taps his fingers against Eddie’s arm.

They’re silent for a few moments, then Eddie’s speaking slowly, almost sure Richie had fallen asleep, “Hey, Rich?”

“Mhmm?”

“I’m sure, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost over guys, can you believe it?? one more chapter!!!

**Author's Note:**

> richietoaster.tumblr.com


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